My Favorite Regret
by trishna87
Summary: Post HBP. Ginny Weasley is left heartbroken and blue by Harry Potter. Well she be able to find love in the eyes of another? Or will Harry's verdant green eyes always haunt her? Will she be able to accept love in the pale and icy eyes of another? Read and
1. Chapter 1: Watching Over You

"**My Favorite Regret"**

Ch1: Watching Over You 

She watched him walk away. With every step Harry Potter took, Ginny Weasley's heart broke into a million pieces. She understood all right. She understood full well the occupational hazards of being the Boy Who Lived's girlfriend. _I've been preparing for this for a long time_, thought Ginny sadly. _So why does it still hurt so much to lose him?_ A voice from inside of her said, _you're only human, Ginny. There is always so much you can take on. _

But just as fast another voice retorted, _well, tough luck Ginevra! You think your problems are oh-so-important? It was just as hard for Harry to walk away, but you don't see him moping about it. Be strong. _The voice softened. _Be strong for the both of you._

Ginny wiped away the tears that were flowing freely from her brown eyes. She looked over to where Hermione and Ron were standing, Ron holding the latter in his arms, comforting her. Even in the midst of her own dilemma, Ginny couldn't help but smile wryly. _At least some people seemed to have found their respective loved one_.

Ginny couldn't bear to be standing there anymore. As happy as she was for her brother and Hermione, she couldn't stand there watching other people enjoy what she so rightly deserved herself. This was all too much for her. She turned on her heels and made her way right back to the castle. Luna stopped her on her way there, but Ginny made some feeble excuse about having forgotten to pack her quidditch gear.

To her surprise, instead of Luna spouting her usual warnings about Crumple-Horned Snorkacks or Blibbering Humdingers. Luna patted Ginny on the shoulder and quietly said, "I love him too, Ginny. But we mustn't worry about him. He has his own demons to face and he must do that alone. He will be fine." Ginny was taken aback. She didn't know how to respond to that revelation, as well as to the amount of profundity Luna was demonstrating in what she said. Luna wished her a safe trip home and went about her own way, leaving behind a startled Ginny.

In two hours Ginny was aboard the Hogwarts' Express, on her way home. She didn't see Harry for the whole of the trip home, although Ron and Hermione were on the train. She searched for his face at the Platform when they got off but she didn't see it. Realization slowly grasped Ginny's heart and mind. Harry had left Ginny without saying goodbye, and this was the deepest cut of all to Ginny's broken heart.

* * *

From afar, a figure watched Ginny. It watched Ginny's dismal brown eyes, usually bright and burning with spirit, desperately rove the crowds of people in the station, with a desperate yearning. _What are the chances it's me she's looking for?_ Although gleeful for a moment at the prospect of the thought being plausible, the thought soon struck him as being irrational. _I know exactly who she's looking for_. With that dismal thought resounding in his head, he turned his back and stole one last glance at Ginny.

Sighing angrily, he made his way to where he was supposed to be staying. He stopped and looked at a shop mirror to make sure the effects of his potion were still working. He wasn't completely sure whether the little bit of hair he had snipped had been enough. It felt strange to be staring back into a pair of brown eyes. Admittedly, he just picked the first random person he saw, without being choosy about looks and all. Disarming the man on the Hogsmeade trip had been fairly easy. Just a quick execution of the Disarming Spell had caught the man unaware, and this made it easier to Stupefy him. After snipping a few hairs to last him a few days, he had made sure to stow his body away somewhere safe, somewhere where people could find him before he starved to death or something. He looked around to make sure he was being inconspicuous, and then he made a sharp left turn into the alleyway that was Knockturn Alley.

Later that night, as he lay in his room at Ashwinder's Lair, (a pub/strip bar, frequented by England's most notorious warlocks) he couldn't help but think of Ginny. Every time he tried to think of something else Ginny came into mind. Like he thought of butterbeer, which led him to think of Luna Lovegood and her wacky butterbeer necklace, which in turn led him to think of how Ginny was one of Lovegood's few true friends. He tried thinking of different kinds of Charms spells, but his mind eventually drifted to how Ginny was exemplary in performing the Bat-Bogey Hex. He gave his head a firm shake and decided to get up.

Crossing the room and staring out the window, the dark, dingy room seemed lackluster. _Has all the personality of your neighborhood Dementor_, he thought sardonically. Upon seeing his reflection, he saw that indeed he had changed back to his own appearance. But it was hard for him to recognize himself. His face had grown thinner and paler, eyes hollowed. Still handsome, but a more fragile look to his face, which gave him an air of being oddly enough almost cherubic in appearance.

_But she cannot love me_, he thought miserably_. I have about as much chance at having a go with her, as does Wormtail or Fenrir. She hates me. Everyone hates me! _He couldn't help tear up. Not for sorrow, but for anger. _I didn't mean for things to end up like this. Not like this. How could this have happened? If only he hadn't died…_ He crushed the glass that he was holding in one of his hands, cutting his hands. Rivulets of blood began to flow freely. He picked up his wand, pointed it at his profusely bleeding hand, and muttered "_Vigoratus_". His wounds healed instantaneously. Well, his hand's wounds in any case.

He was a shattered person, lost and confused. Tied to a fate, which, in retrospect, should not have been chosen. Especially, now that it had doomed him to a life of hiding and seclusion. _A life without love… a life without Ginny_, he thought. He had tried to ignore these feelings that he had always had for her. He had seen her the first time he had arrived at the Platform to get to Hogwarts. And for some odd reason her face always stuck with him. Over the years, especially since Ginny joined Hogwarts, she kept their paths kept crossing each other. And they had had their fair share of fights. Before long he developed romantic feelings for this wide-eyed, red haired girl. He had been furious to discover that Ginny fancied Harry Potter. He used that as a reason to loathe her, despise her,humiliate her every chance that he got. He ran from his true feelings, but they remained….had always remained beneath the surface of his cool and detached exterior.

Soon enough it seemed she had lost interest in Potter, and began gaining popularity among the boys, as she grew up to be a vivacious and gorgeous girl. He had felt pride whenever he imagined himself with her, about what a stately couple they would have made. But then she started dating Potter, and the fire of fury and hatred for Potter was stoked by this burning jealousy.

_Ginny loved Potter, she still loves him,_ he reminded himself, gritting his teeth. And Potter had left her. That fool had given up this treasure. _Potter doesn't deserve her, never did!_ He raked his hand through his hair, resisting the urge to tug at it. _If only Ginny knew how much I love her and how I would do anything for her. If only she could understand my situation. Bollocks, I can't get near her without sending off about a hundred thousand Auror alarms. Damn Weasleys! Only the Golden Boy or the Ministry officials can get near that house._

He suddenly realized what he had said.

_Only Potter or the Ministry people…_

He had the means to arrange for that

_But was it worth the risk?_ A voice in his head asked.

_For Ginny? _

The answer was already clear.

He opened his trunk, rummaged around till he found it. He took it out and upon performing _originisus, _it revealed that it was indeed safe for using. If they found out they would kill him. As it was, he was already rubbing them the wrong way.

It would take a while. But he didn't care. Also he reminded himself to safeguard the potion properly.

Taking out his cauldron he set about concocting his one shot at revealing his true intentions to Ginny. Hopefully she would see it was really him in the end and forget the past. Hopefully she would understand his predicament and love him for who he was.

_**

* * *

Author notes: Thanks much to lovely Arielle for BETA reading this , and also Erin for saying she liked the story!**_


	2. Chapter 2: Memories

"Ginny, love, come down already! Breakfast's ready!"

Ginny rolled over on her back, squinting her eyes, as she adjusted to the orange light that now swathed her room in a fiery glow. She lay still for a few minutes, thinking about all the day's tasks that lay ahead. As if she needed a reminder, her eyes fluttered over to her bedside table where lay a piece of expensive stationary paper smelling of lilacs and lilies.

_Urgh. Fleur and her stupid scented stationary! _

Grabbing the paper, her eyes scoured over the neatly listed and detailed tasks that they each had to take care of. Her mother, Fleur, Gabrielle and Mrs. Delacour had divided up what each one of them was in charge of, so that the wedding would go off without a hitch. Since Ginny was in no mood to participate in conversations which included much giggling and many discussions of garters and wedding night jitters, Ginny had chosen to go outside and throw the quaffle around. If not anything Ginny hoped it would help clear her mind, take it off Harry.

As Ginny got up and wrapped her pink robe around her, she let out a heavy sigh. _The Quidditch idea isn't a good idea at all_, she thought darkly. There were too many memories tied in with spending many an afternoon with Harry on the Hogwarts quidditch pitch, or meeting at dusk near the broom cupboard. Everything somehow always led back to Harry. Ginny gave herself a shake and thundered down the stairs.

"Good morning everyone," said Ginny, in as cheery a voice as she could muster.

"Good morning ickle Ginevra," said Charlie Weasley, grinning, as he carried a huge box of what looked like wedding decorations, past her into the parlor room.

"Morning Ginny!" said a familiar voice. Ginny looked over to the far end of the kitchen table and saw Hermione sitting there.

"Hey Hermione! Um, when did you get here?" A sudden thought occurred to Ginny, and she immediately looked around the room and peeked through the door into the parlor.

But all she saw were two brown suitcases with the initials H.G. No sign of any other suitcases or an owl cage for that matter. _He's really not coming _she surmised, as she felt the cold disappointment and reality sink in. Ginny gave herself a shrug and proceeded to sit down at the kitchen table. As she tried to reach for the plate of sausages she was careful to avoid calling Ron to pass the plate. Her darling brother, Ron, was too busy grinning away like a lovesick puppy at Hermione. Hermione although had a prominent red blush plastered on her cheeks, tried to act normal. "I got here around 5 a.m. My parents had a flight to catch you see, so they figured they might as well drop me off earlier. Yeah, they are heading out to Japan for the summer."

Ginny, munching on some toast asked, "But how come you didn't go? I mean I thought you were supposed to do some training at that famous Japanese med wizard's clinic?"

This seemed to have caught Hermione off guard as her blush deepened to a dark scarlet shade. "Oh mm.. I promised Fleur and Bill I wouldn't miss their wedding. You know how persistent Fleur can get right? I might be leaving a bit earlier than planned though" Ginny almost giggled outright when she saw Ron, who had proceeded to take his dirty dishes to the kitchen sink, almost drop his plates at this piece of news. Ginny couldn't decide whether Ron was happy that Hermione had come earlier or mad that she might have to leave a little earlier than planned. Hermione kept her eyes downcast, although there was a hint of a smile.

Just then Bill and Fleur walked into the kitchen, followed by a rather flustered Mrs. Weasley. Fleur saw Hermione and her lips broke into a radiant smile.

"Hermy! You came! Bill and I are so very glad you could make eet!" Fleur sashayed over to Hermione and planted two kisses on both of her cheeks. Fleurs eyes grew as big as dinner plates as she exclaimed " Thees ees perfect! You can be ah bridesmaid! My cousin..oof do not make me begin on her now! She cannot come because she 'as to cheer for ze Bulgarian team! You know? _Votre Krum d'ami, il joue sur l'équipe ! _I know you remember Krum", Fleur said with a wink. "You two , ah.. you were involved yes?"

Immediately Ginny felt her brother Ron tense up. Ron scowled and mumbled he had to go and help Charlie, Fred and George set up the arch outside. Hermione could only smile weakly as she protested ever having been involved with Krum to a very adamant Fleur.

Ginny quickly helped her mother clear up the dishes. She knew that a long day lay ahead.

Even as she busied herself in the wedding preparations, which was to take place in 5 days, she couldn't help feel lonely and sad that he really would not be coming.

----------------------------------

Harry Potter slammed yet another book shut. _Hermione was crazy to ever suggest that doing actual research would be helpful to find the remaining Horcruxes! _But as Harry got up and went to pick out another book from the many that lined Dumbledore's personal study, he knew that at a time when they had no information to where the Horcruxes were, or where Lord Voldemort himself was , any bit of information he might come across would be helpful. _Even if it means I wile away in this sodding place,_ he thought grimly as he eyed the scores of many books still left. He had been placed under heavy protection. With Dumbledore gone, Scrimgeour had refused to take even the slightest of chances with Voldemort running around, with the Deatheaters and none other than Severus Snape himself. Even now Harry woke up at night; all drenched in sweat and tears, as his dreams were haunted by the nightmares of his past. Over and over again he relived the death of his beloved schoolmaster. The green light. The dull thud as the spell hit Dumbledore. Harry came out of his reverie and focused on the titles of the books in front of him. Grabbing the one he was looking for, he went back and jumped onto the couch near the window, where he had dumped his satchel of belongings. As he did he felt something cold and hard under him. Reaching under him he pulled out a ring. It was engraved with the initials G.W and H.P, and the band was carved in with little hearts. He had given the ring to Ginny, as a token of the relationship they shared. As he stared at the ring, memories flooded through him. Memories of happier times. Spending afternoons lazing about the lake. Evenings spent curled up and cozy in front of the common room fire. The stolen moments at midnight atop the astronomy tower, just gazing away at the stars.

Harry sighed wistfully as he imagined Ginny's smile, the floral scent of her perfume, her vibrant brown eyes, and most of all the feeling of her heart beating against his as they held on to one another during their shared moments. As he carefully tucked the ring away into his pocket, he heaved another heavy sigh. He knew that parting ways had been the best option, nay, the ONLY thing they could have done. Harry knew he was the fire which would burn and ravage everything and everyone he loved most in the world. That's how it had always been. And he knew Voldemort wouldn't spare Ginny if he ever found out how much and how deeply he felt for her. Harry knew deep inside, that had Voldemort ever captured Ginny and the trade off was the world and Harry's life, Harry would have agreed to it in a minute.

It was not that he had any problem giving up his own life for Ginny. Harry was afraid that alongside his own life, he would even be willing to sacrifice the rest of the world just to ensure Ginny's safety, had Voldemort ever asked this of him. That is why Harry knew it was for the best. He wished he could do the same to Hermione and Ron; however he knew they would never ever leave his side. A part of him knew that they considered Harry's fate to be fates of their own. So desperate was Harry to severe ties with Ginny, that he had declined to attend Bill and Fleur's wedding. But a part of him now seemed to gnaw and ache just to catch one glimpse of Ginny.

_Am I stupid enough to actually think this will work?_

The answer was very obvious.

Harry got up and walked to the window. The sky was pitch black, scattered sparingly with some clouds here and there. One or two stars shined through the darkness, their luminosity too great for the night to envelop. _Perfect_ he thought. Harry looked down, his green eyes scanning over the grounds. He went back and grabbed his wand, his broom from the closet, and his invisibility cloak.

He was sure no one would notice his absence. Heck everyone thought he was the Ministry's Boy now, and had nothing on his mind other than finding a way to bring down the Dark Lord. _That was partly right, _Harry thought. _But he's not the only thing on my mind_. He knew it wasn't worth taking the chance. But he also knew he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the task at hand, unless he saw her just one more time. With a final glance over his shoulder, Harry proceeded to the window and threw it open. And in the flash of a moment, Harry Potter disappeared into the night sky.


	3. Chapter 3: Dresses and

**_Thanks everyone for all the reviews! You guys make me wanna keep going with this story ! I really appreciate all the feedback  I sincerely hope you enjoy this chapter _**

"Hermy, suck your breath in a leetle bit more!" suggested a clearly upset, Fleur.

"Don't you think I am? How was I supposed to know your cousin, Noel would be a size zero?"

That evening, Fleur's mother and sister had joined them to have a dress fitting. Hermione was positively glowering and looked like she would burst out of the seams of the dress that was clearly two sizes too small. Her normally slim figure was made to look svelte and painfully miniscule. And the corset didn't make matters any easier for her.

"Hold on Hermione. Mum's gone to get the instruction book for dress altering." Ginny knew it actually might take a while, because that book didn't have much use or need in a house full of six rambunctious boys. _They don't think about wearing or putting on dresses_ Ginny deduced, but she paused a minute and grinned. _Well the opposite however might most certainly hold true, well when it comes to girls anyways._

"Ah dear Hermione. You should consider yourself lucky! Long ago, in France, girls often 'ad to go through periods of starvation to just feeet into the dresses for balls and such" Mrs. Delacour, Fleur and Gabrielle exchanged looks that made it appear that they were the ones missing out on such a lovely tradition and they were all the more sadder for it. "Magic 'as constantly been evolving and thanks to wonderful seamstresses like Yolanda Threadington, now even the most common witch 'as a perfect how to book on how to fix dresses in a snap! That book of 'ers is a marvel"

"Well I certainly hope it helps us. I'm a bit rusty."

Mrs. Weasley's eyes scoured the pages in front of her for a few minutes, during which Hermione was turning slowly from scarlet to a bluish hue. Finally, she whipped out her wand, and looking Hermione up and down, pointed and muttered inaudible words under her breath.

Instantly Hermione fell on the floor. She jumped up and drew in large gulps of air.

The pale blue silk dress now clung to her silhouette just as though it were made for her. Hermione looked beautiful in it. _Just like that time at the Yule Ball_, thought back Ginny.

"Hey mum! Fred and George bewitched the ice sculptures! They are running around sloshing water EVERYWHERE!" Ron barged into the room, hair and clothes all dripping wet as though he had been splashing around in a puddle. As soon as he saw Hermione, his jaw noticeably dropped a few inches.

"Ronald! Get _out _of here at once!" screamed a livid Mrs. Weasley. Ron yelped and scrambled out.

Hermione had reverted back to the scarlet hue she had been sporting a few moments earlier.

"I better go deal with those boys. By Merlin! It's their _own brother's wedding_! You'd think they'd grow _out_ of their foolishness but noooo!" Mrs. Weasley barged out of the room.

Hermione looked around at Ginny and asked, "Uh hey Gin, I haven't seen your dress yet. Do you have it here?"

"No it's in my room. I'll get it"

"Ginny mon petit chere, why don't you, poot eet on? We 'aven't seen you in eet yet."

Ginny knew she wouldn't be able to turn down the three pairs of shining blue eyes that looked at her imploringly.

"Ok. I'll be right back," said Ginny faking the best smile she could.

The Delacour and Hermione were talking about the Eiffel Tower, when suddenly Gabrielle let out a low, long whistle. "_Tres belle!"_

Ginny stood in the doorway in a shimmering green gown. The fabric looked like it had been molded to fit her every curve. Her coppery red hair, which she had untied from her pony tail, played off of the silky, glittery fabric and made it look like it were on fire. It all provided a nice contrast with her pale skin tone.

Ginny went over to the mirror and looked at her reflection. Fleur smiled and came up behind her and helped her zip her back. "I am very 'appy to have such a beautiful and kind sister in law as you Ginny" Ginny smiled back at Fleur in the mirror.

But Fleur's eyes suddenly darted to the window directly behind them. She rushed over there and threw it open peering around for a few minutes before coming back.

"Oh dear! My eyes must be playing treecks on me! I could'af sworn I saw glowink eyes out on ze branch next to ze window."

Ginny rushed over to the window and stared at the branch. But she immediately chided herself. _He wouldn't ever come. Never. I wish he would though_. "I miss you Harry," she quietly whispered, the summer breeze carrying away her silent prayer. She went back inside.

It took all of Harry's resolve not to throw off his cloak and take Ginny into his arms. She looked so breathtakingly beautiful. He had never seen her like this.

He had been sitting on the branch peering in through the window, watching the women try on dresses. He had been polite and chivalrous enough to look away when they were changing.

But now Harry wished he hadn't come. He felt so weak now that he realized how much he loved and missed Ginny. And it tugged at his heart to see her so sad, just because she loved him so much and missed him too. He couldn't bear to see her brown eyes downcast with so much sadness. But he also knew he couldn't go back.

Before he lost control of all reason he made sure not to make any noise, and slowly stood up on the branch. Years of Quidditch had honed his balance to pitch perfection. He carefully got onto his broom and took off.

_I swear to myself, the moment I defeat Voldemort, Ginny I will come back to you. Nothing will ever get into the way of our happiness together. Never ever again. _

As he vowed this, he felt a sharp blow, as a bright red light hit him squarely on the back.

Harry could feel himself lose altitude immediately and felt himself falling. It took all his might and strength to maneuver the broom so that he fell into a field of hay. Harry tried to gain his strength and fumbled for his wand.

"_Petrificus Totalus!"_

He lay paralyzed and felt a shadow slowly creep up and stand over him.

"Hullo, Potter. Long time, no see! Fancy running into you here!"

The last thing he remembered before blacking out was staring into a pair of green eyes.


End file.
